Para os amantes de traduções MUITO literais, a.k.a. HEY, SHOVEL !

O meu amigo João mandou-me (e em muito boa hora!) uma tradução literal que, por acaso, é das melhores (senão a melhor) que já me passou pela frente. Para os amantes desta Arte, deliciem-se!

Portuguese Slang

I have a feeling that only Portuguese people will find this funny (actually, only Portuguese who speak English) but anyway:(Parece-me que apenas os portugueses que falem inglês vão perceber esta mensagem, mas aqui vai ela):

Literal translation to English of conversation between two portuguese guys:

-So, shovel? How is it going? It's been a long time since I've put the view on you.
-Yea. Oh, shovel, I bought a new house.
-Where do you live now?
-Oh, I'm living in the middle of the ass of Judas now! Now, imagine that the place doesn't even have public lighting! At night you can't even see the tip of a horn! Now I have to go around "oh uncle, oh uncle" for them to put there a public lighting post. I went to the Together of Parish to complain about that and they immediatley started throwing mouths, asking if I really had to go to live in a hole like that, where Judas lost his boots.Man, I completely passed myself from the gears.
-Hey, mine, put yourself slim! The only thing they will do is tell you to go around the great billard.
-What, but have we reached the wood, or what? That would be sweet! They should put themselves at stick, because I'm not afraid of them! That is the side to which I sleep better. With me they don't make flour and I find well that they don't arm themselves to the cuckoos, because I won't give my arm to twist.
-But have you been there to talk with anybody?
-I went there to speak with the President and he stayed looking at me like an ox to the palace. He told me to put myself at miles.
-You're passing yourself!
-At serious, mine! The guy started to arm himself in racing parrot, saying that donkey's voices don't reach the sky and telling me to put myself in the bitches.
-And what did you tell him?
-I told him this: "Bad Mary! You guys don't even now how you got here -you don't see an ox of this shit! One guy comes here and you immediately start belching slices of hake. You are all the same shit,only the smell is different: you neither f*ck nor get out of the top."
-Hey, big scene. And what did he say?
-First he said that I could speak at ease, because the dogs bark and the caravan goes by and then he told me to go comb monkeys to China. But when he saw that I was passing myself from the horns, he started with a high conversation, terreeteetee, sparrows to the nest, that I should have calm, and so on. Yes, because if I really would pass myself, all that shit would go with the pigs! Alright, alright. Let's change the topic. Have you already fixed a girlfriend?
-Hey, mine, I think I have. I met a chick who is good as corn and I immediately started dragging the wing to her, but when I went to see, she had put herself in the little female of garlic. At the next weekend I found her again and I made myself to the floor again. First she armed herself in racing stickface, but then she came eating at my hand.
-That's how it tastes better...
-Ya, it fell like cherries.
-And the chick, is she really good?
-Well, actually she isn't there a big shotgun, but one can eat it. Who doesn't have a dog, hunts with a cat, right?
-And have you already made yourself to the steak?
-Are you armed in silly, or what? You are here you are there!
-Sorry. And the chick, has she already lost the three?
-Hey shovel, go look if it is raining. Or then go see if I'm over there at the corner.
-Say there, mine!
-Oh, shovel, it's like this: I still didn't do it because Benfica is playing at home, alright?
-Ready, you just climbed on my scale.
-You already know that I don't leave my credits in foreign hands.
-Ok. So, I will be going, I must go to the chop chop.
-And I'm going to the morphs, too.
-See ya.
-See ya.
-Doors yourself well.
-Until the sight.


Digam lá que não é um mimo???

P.S.1: um LOL e um obrigada gigantes para o tradutor! Está do best!

P.S.2: Gosto principalmente do pormenor do "hey shovel" :D